The Truth Behind Self-Care

Spoiler alert: it’s not always bubble baths and brunch.

Let’s talk about self-care—the term that’s been hashtagged, marketed, and turned into a million Pinterest boards. Somewhere along the way, “self-care” got dressed up in a plush robe, poured a mimosa, and settled in for a spa day. And while I love a good mani-pedi moment (I mean, who doesn’t?), we need to have a heart-to-heart about what self-care really means—and why it’s not all candlelight and cucumbers over the eyes.

So, what’s the truth?

Self-care is not a trend. It’s a necessity.It’s the foundation of how we show up—for ourselves, for our people, for our purpose. But like that gym membership we swore we’d use, it often collects dust when life gets overwhelming.

Here’s the thing: we’ve glamorized self-care into a lifestyle aesthetic instead of honoring it as a survival strategy. The truth? Self-care sometimes looks like:

• Saying “no” without a five-paragraph explanation.

• Going to therapy (shoutout to my fellow therapists and therapy-goers).

• Making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off since 2022.

• Logging off, turning off, and not responding to that email at 10:47 PM.

• Setting boundaries that feel uncomfortable, but necessary.

Let’s talk benefits—because yes, self-care works

When it’s practiced intentionally, self-care can boost your mood, sharpen your focus, and help regulate those big emotions that try to hijack your day. It improves your relationships. It helps you get to know yourself again—especially when life pulls you in a hundred directions.

But here’s the not-so-glam side...

There are real barriers to practicing self-care. I see it with clients all the time (and yes, sometimes in the mirror too).We’re talking:

• Time – Who has an hour to meditate when you’re already running late for work and trying to remember if your kid’s permission slip was signed?

• Guilt – That sneaky voice that says you’re selfish for putting yourself first.

• Money – Not everyone can afford the $97 monthly wellness subscription box.

• Social pressure – The curated version of self-care on Instagram doesn’t always match our real-life needs.

So how do we actually do it?

We make self-care personal—like that playlist you only share with your best friend.

We go deeper than bubble baths and ask, “What does care look like for me, right now?”Sometimes it’s movement. Sometimes it’s stillness. Sometimes it’s unfollowing people who disrupt your peace.Maybe it’s crying it out, journaling it out, or laughing it out with your circle.

Self-care is not about checking a box. It’s about checking in with yourself.

My Therapist Takeaway:

Self-care isn’t something you earn after being productive—it’s something you deserve because you’re human. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be honest. So give yourself permission to practice self-care in a way that actually fills your cup—and not just for the ‘Gram.

Because the truth behind self-care?It’s messy, magical, and 100% worth figuring out.